TV Obsession Roundup #1.

Some of you know I have a problem with America's Next Top Model. I've largely broken my addiction to this truly horrible show, but still catch it sometimes if I'm not doing anything else. (Let's face it, how often am I doing something else?) Anyway, I only caught about half of the current cycle, but it was enough to turn up my nose at its "full-figured" winner. Apparently, she was teased by the mean girls in high school for not being a twig. The bitch can still shop at any normal store and doesn't come close to falling into a plus-size category, but Tyra (crazy fucking Tyra) thinks she has a new niche winner with whom to pat herself on the back. She's changing the industry! Good job, Tyra! Sheesh.

On the other hand, I enjoy Top Chef an increasing amount. I love Richard and Stephanie. I used to hate apparent speed freak Andrew, but now I find his spazzy humor endearing. He's more than a little cocky, but isn't any good chef? Dale doesn't look good on reality TV but I bet he's good. I'm watching the episode right now, and Antonia, what the hell is wrong with cooking Asian food all the time? How is that not well-rounded? That covers half the world's most respected cuisines, and he seems well-trained and well-versed in it. This week's focus on healthy eating is rad, by the way. Let's hear it for whole grains and veggies.

The third thing is VH1's Sex: The Revolution documentary series from the same people who made 1996's The Drug Years. I randomly caught the latter in one of its many marathons and found it really interesting, informative, and entertaining. The first two installments of Sex are up there, too, and I'm looking forward to catching the other half. Defamer notes in particular that Danny Glover's insight into the 1960s San Francisco Free Love scene are...enlightening.

Cognitive dissonance and the 5 pm rerun of Gilmore Girls.

I miss this goddamn show so much, I make it a point to be home at 5 pm so I can rewatch every episode. They are coming up on the show's final season, which I have only seen once. I miss this stupid show like I miss my friends back home. Okay, not really, but I still love it.

There's nothing truly wrong with loving/missing a TV show. I mean, it's stupid, but it's not wrong and I don't let it interfere with my life. The cognitive dissonance comes with its home on the ABC Family channel, which, aside from the hilarious "a new kind of family" tagline, has a pretty heavy "family values" bent. "Family values" being code for "overzealous Christian."

Every goddamn night during my precious Gilmore Girls rerun, these assholes have a commercial for the "inspirational" Christian power ballads collection, I Can Only Imagine. Take a moment to look at the Amazon page. It's not a fucking joke.

The commercial involves snippets of several songs -- two by Amy Grant, beloved of 12-year-old girls everywhere circa 1993; one of the song that made me leave the Catholic church, "Awesome God;" "God Is In Control" with a chick who looks kind of like a toned-down Cyndi Lauper (sorry Cyndi); the horrific "Butterfly Kisses;" and "In Christ Alone" by Michael English, who sings with his eyes closed and looks like a child molester. It sicks me out every single time I see this thing and fail to get to the mute button on my remote in time.

This commercial is slowly driving me insane.