The Joy of Valentine's Day

A card.

Definitely a hand-made, Victorian-lacy-doily-type card.

With a poem proclaiming your love.

And maybe a dozen red roses.

Or two.

A bright shiny, red, heart-shaped balloon to go with that.

Of course, a nice heart-shaped box of chocolates. Oh, wait, no; she's watching her weight. Forget that.

How about some jewelry? There was that nice pair of gold earrings downtown.

Then again, they say that diamonds are a girl's best friend.

Man, this is gonna cost a fortune! Maybe you should get a job or something.

Do you remember the good ol' days in elementary school? The day before Valentine's Day, there was some class art project wherein everyone constructed a box in which their classmates could place valentines and embellish it with pink and red construction paper hearts. Maybe glitter, if you were old enough to have a teacher entrust you with the glue. All the boys brought those valentines with Spiderman comics on them and the girls the ones with silly little puns told by cartoon animals. If you were lucky, you'd end up with a few tiny 'conversation hearts' -- all the girls giggled if one of them happened to say "I LUV U."

Things were so much simpler then.

But starting as early as middle school, before, even; people of both sexes are kidnapped from that peaceful world of cooties and superhero lunchboxes by a mischievous pair commonly known as Peer Pressure and Puberty. This is particularly visible around Valentine's Day, where the focus is on love and courtship -- people already in relationships, no matter how serious, will outdo themselves in buying ridiculously extravagant gifts for their significant other; people who aren't so fortunate will bemoan their solitary existence.

Today's society seems to overdo everything, particularly certain holidays. Maybe because we're a relatively young nation, starved for a culture to call our own, maybe we're just too self-indulgent for our own good; who knows. On Halloween, we make a big deal out of being creepy; Thanksgiving is a day of worship to the gods of food and football. Of course, you can't forget the most painfully overcommercialized holiday, Christm-- I mean, the politically-correct, generic-winter-holiday season. Valentine's Day is no different. The attention focused on this day tends to create a great big red, pink, and white heart-shaped blur that doesn't disappear for about a month and a half.

This is not, of course, to say that Valentine's Day is wholly without merit. For one day, people will stop and drop everything to make that special someone happy as a clam. For one day, at least one person in every one of your classes will have a bouquet of fragrant red roses to stink up the classroom. And on this one day, maybe the boyfriend of the girl next to you forgot that she was on a diet and you can score a couple chocolates.

(from The Olympus, 1997)